Breaking the Cycle of Othering
An election inspired musing
On a whim as I’ve been musing over the election results and corresponding actions thereafter, I decided to put some of my thoughts down around the central issue I see causing pain and trauma to many - Othering. Even those who ‘won’ an election are party to the resulting cultural trauma, so this post is for all, regardless of political identity.
Othering: the process of perceiving or portraying an individual or group as fundamentally different from and alien to oneself or one's own group, often leading to their marginalization or discrimination. It involves creating a distinction between "us" and "them" that emphasizes differences while minimizing similarities.
Here are three concrete non-political examples:
In a workplace setting: A team of long-term employees consistently excludes new international colleagues from lunch gatherings and informal discussions, using phrases like "they wouldn't understand our culture anyway" or speaking only in local slang, effectively creating a barrier between "local" and "foreign" workers.
In education: When teachers unconsciously hold lower academic expectations for students from certain socioeconomic backgrounds, assuming "those kids" aren't college material without considering individual capabilities, they're engaging in othering that can impact students' opportunities and self-perception.
In healthcare: When male medical professionals dismiss women’s complaints rather than investigating symptoms as thoroughly as they would for male patients, they're othering based on gender, potentially leading to inadequate medical care.
Yet perhaps the most prominent way othering is used is as a political tool. Messaging from political parties or from political interests (PACs, foreign interests, personal interests of ultrawealthy) overwhelmingly uses the portrayal of a party or a person as different (“other”) than what one might hold close as their core values. Interchangeably toggling between a person or the party whichever polls least favorably, so when either want to attack the other party, they give it a ‘face’.
Even the most well meaning people get trapped into cycles of othering. Us versus Them. Post election there’s a tendency to villainize those who hold values that are different from your own, leading to a perpetuated cycle of repression, suppression, and projection. Projection included here, because in the ‘enemy’ is in us too - and while we cannot control what other people do, we can control how we take responsibility for our own actions. What I fear most (and what I’m observing) is the tribalism of echo chambers - and prerequiring that to be a member you must “choose a side”.
One action to bring more consciousness to your own othering tendencies is to write a compact with yourself. But before you make that commitment, you should acknowledge your prior othering habits…
so take out a piece of paper… and write down the following:
I've been operating under an "us versus them" mentality that has divided my worldview and relationships. I have unconsciously fed into cycles of othering that have kept me in a state of fear, mistrust and separation from those I perceive as different. Sometimes without my own conscious awareness, this mindset has stunted my personal growth, my ability to connect authentically with others, and the flourishing of my community. I no longer wish to be bound to this contract of othering; I release it and let it go.
Finish that and then rip it up - symbolically and literally addressing the issue.
Then take out a new piece of paper, and write down:
Starting [today's date], I will be wholeheartedly stepping into the identity of a cycle breaker. I will consciously cultivate an expansive, inclusive consciousness that celebrates diversity and seeks to understand different perspectives with empathy and curiosity. I will do this for myself, my relationships, and the greater good of my community and the world.
[Sign and date ]
How did drafting and releasing this "othering" contract feel in your mind, body and spirit? What shifts did you notice within yourself as you let go of this limiting mindset and declared your intention to be a cycle breaker? Consider the ripple effects this could have on your interactions, relationships and sense of connection with others.
How did this post make you feel?