Experiences are Greater than ‘Owning Things’
To do/experience something brings more happiness than the act of owning it.
We start today with this figure from 2004 article “To Do or To Have? That is the Question.” by Van Boven and Gilovich. (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology · January 2004)
As you see, there is an increasingly diverging set of results once enough stability in income is met. (when you have enough income to cover basic needs.)
The takeaway: happiness is amplified by experiencing things versus buying things.
But why? And how? And “so what!?”
Experiences Foster Connection
When we participate in experiences—whether it’s attending a concert, traveling, or practicing mindfulness—we are creating memories. These memories become part of our identity and contribute to our sense of self. On the flip side, material possessions are often detached from our core identity.
Example: I remember years ago, I went with a group of friends for NYE weekend and we rented a house in Deep Creek, MD (for those not familiar, it’s a four seasons town in a relatively rural area - built upon a reservoir and a ski resort being the two large draws.) I remember this weekend pretty well, as the 4 couples bonded over shared activities (Rock Band was very popular and new then, I remember we had the whole setup of guitar and drums and microphone), the house had both a sauna and a steam room - unusual experiences for most people, it had a full arcade of games that required no money to play, and it led to a great experience of 3 days that I recall fondly 15 years later. These types of experiences enhance overall well-being and happiness - I remember starting off that year after going back to work and being in a happier mindset.
The Joy of Anticipation
Experiences often are planned and adds a benefit of anticipation. For some, the excitement leading up to an event or trip can be as fulfilling as the experience itself.
Example: My wife is a travel agent - I see how much she takes delight in planning vacations or weekend getaways for friends and strangers - and she uses her own joy of anticipation to generate anticipation and positive emotions even before the trip begins for her guests. Anticipation becomes part of the overall experience. (Although for me, myself, this is probably the least important bullet - I like to show up and have the experience bring me joy - I guess opposites attract!)
Adaptation
Here adaptation is more in the ‘hedonic’ sense. Simply put, we are built to adapt to material possessions more quickly than to experiences. There’s a sparkle and fade to buying things (known as the “hedonic treadmill”). In contrast, experiences remain vivid in our memories as they sparkle each time we recall them.
Example: I smiled while writing the above story about Deep Creek NYE 15 years ago - but I don’t smile when I think about my SonicCare Toothbrush. You may recall the first concert you attended (or the most recent!) and contrast that with a new shirt that you bought that has become part of your rotation but that doesn’t bring the same level of joy as the day you bought it.
Social Connection and Shared Experiences
Experiences usually involve social interactions. Whether it’s attending a concert, sporting event, workshop, volunteering, joining a fitness class, or sharing a rental with friends we connect with others.
Toward Wellth Vision: Rather than an example here, imagine that Toward Wellth becomes a place where people come together to practice yoga, meditate, or discuss mental health topics - and those experiences foster a sense of belonging and shared purpose — heightening longer term happiness & wellth.
Material Ownership and Status Symbols
Material possessions can be status symbols (or virtue signalling), yet their impact on happiness is fleeting. The pursuit of luxury items lead to a perpetual cycle of wanting more - and there’s a built in bias that more is never enough (if you go back to the article that was cited at the beginning of the article, they detail this far better than I).
Example: Owning a designer handbag might momentarily boost self-esteem, but it won’t provide lasting fulfillment. Heck, this could very well be the fuel behind why some people point out that something is no longer the current style. Let’s sit back and watch what happens with Stanley Mugs by the end of this year… it’ll be replaced by whatever the next ‘it’ accessory is that gets fueled by marketing and mob consumerism.
Collecting Memories, Not Things
There is a saying “Collect memories, not things” that you might find a mug or sign — because that phrase resonates with the idea that experiences enrich our lives more profoundly than things. Ironically, the thing bearing the phrase is less the spark of joy than the thought it provokes.
Seek to put yourself in more moments where you can collect memories, not things.
If you’re reading this article on Saturday night and appreciate what being social does for your happiness and Wellth, forward this post to a friend that you want to spend time with... send them this article as a way to show that you want to deepen your relationship.
If you reading this after Saturday night and if the topic resonates with you, forward it to a friend who might also benefit. If you just want to share this Toward Wellth Substack, click here and it will let you share on a variety of platforms.